So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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