Cold hands, warm shart.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize