I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There are leaves in my underwear?
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