Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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