a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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