Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
