dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
