So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
