If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
