i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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