Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Your penis caused this!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
