very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
