He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize