we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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