you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize