Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
