I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
