i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
