Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
