I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
