So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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