she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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