Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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