tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
