10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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