my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
