There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
