i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
