well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
