isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
