dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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