its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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