everyone is single if you try hard enough
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
