i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
