We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize