How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
