There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
