remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
