If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I was not drunk enough for that final.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
