If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
