Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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