i think my tv is drunk
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
