her vagina looked like bernie madoff
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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