So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
