1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
from now on my penis is your penis
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
