My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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