If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
