wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize