I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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