oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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