Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
