and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
