whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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