Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We left an ass print on the piano.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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