It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
