I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
