Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
