Yo dont text me then not text me
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
