he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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