no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
