with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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