dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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