Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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