Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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