dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
