I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize