i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
