It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So vagazzling was a success
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
