I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
