Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Randomize
