Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
