dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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