dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
