You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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